In honor of today being Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d do a rundown of the other bulls*** holidays that we continue to acknowledge despite their having lost all meaning or purpose.

7) Valentine’s Day.

Human beings seem to have this illogical need for ceremony and ritual. You can be a complete Homer Simpson all year long, but as long as you remember flowers on Valentine’s Day, you get out of jail free. Or, at least, you’ve fulfilled your obligations. Valentine’s Day is the Catholic Church of Holidays. Go through the motions and the slate is wiped clean. Forget, or worse yet, half-ass the holiday and the Boss is very mad. Isn’t the idea to be good and romantic every day, all-year long? But I guess we all know deep down this is impossible, so we put up with this meaningless holiday of obligation. And that doesn’t even go into the forced subsidization of the greeting card, chocolate and floral industries! But hey, this is the only holiday where you’re pretty much guaranteed to get laid, so it’s not all bad.

6) Columbus Day.

First of all, who gives an s***? He wasn’t the first. Plus, discovering something by stumbling bass-ackwards onto it is not exactly something to celebrate. It’s not like winning a battle or finding a cure for something. Then there’s the whole angle of “celebrating” the beginning of a genocidal holocaust. And then there’s the fact that some white trash Italians look at Columbus Day as their St. Patrick’s Day. But the most annoying thing about Columbus Day is that we’ve never been able to settle on exactly what this is… Is it a federal holiday? Do we get mail? Are banks open? You’re probably going to have to go into work anyway. Growing up in the south, I can tell you that never once did we have school off for Columbus Day. (more…)

They make it hard to get the money you’re entitled to. Here’s how to get them to pay.

1) Don’t pay if you don’t have a say.
When you purposely see an out-of-network doctor, your plan usually makes it clear that it’ll cost you. But when you have surgery, the hospital chooses the anesthesiologist. If you get that annoying “out-of-network” bill, Flynn says, draft a strongly worded letter stating you had no say about the anesthesiologist—in-network or otherwise—and, therefore, won’t pay any additional fees. “If you don’t have direct control, you are not liable,” Flynn says, adding that this tack is likely to work every time, but few consumers know about it. (more…)